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03:59am 16/02/2007
 
mood: curious
Israeli government is still digging in Jerusalem - despite local protestors. The Jewish government invaded the territory of the holy mosque, the birthplace of Jesus. The officals say the digging will not affect the holy shrine, however intentions are still unclear as to why this is happening.

They claim to be making a bridge more functional [?] but to me it sounds like a conspiricy. 


 
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Thoughts of a Pifffffed Mind.   
03:08pm 13/02/2007
 
mood: determined
I understand life now. You have to walk through cow shit to get to the green pasture. I understand now, that when I am hopeless, and helpless, and feeling my weakest, those are actually the times I am my strongest. In reality, you are never given more then you can handle.

A strong person can cry. A strong person can pray for what they know they cannot have. A strong person can feel so beneath themselves, but a strong person must not give up.

I will ride for him, be live for him, because I breathe him and I need him.

I am not asking for pity. Everybody goes through their own trials and tribulations. Some may have harder ones then other, and vice-versa. I am simply asking for you to understand, that when a person looks their worst, as if hell came early, they are only going through a battle to get to heaven.

Life must bring you pain, to appreciate the joy, the happiness. And even in those times of pure darkness, you will feel joy again.
 
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Inspiration   
10:02pm 11/02/2007
 
mood: contemplative
It feels as if my inspiration for life left the day you did.
 
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Every Tear Is For You   
06:14pm 08/02/2007
 
mood: melancholy
When every smile makes you cry, and every tear makes you smile at a memory that you can't have anymore is where you'll find me.

I promise I'll wait for you. Every second is a decade and every decade is what it is, and I'm still here. Waiting.

I love you with every quark in my body. My heart yearns for you to be here, and knowing you can't makes my heart weak. I will be your till the end of time. Prison can't seperate us forever. You'll be home with me soon enough, and I'll still be here, waiting.
 
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Pieces of My Heart   
09:03pm 06/02/2007
 
mood: blank
I look into the future, and you know what I see? I see unhappiness for me and nothing from you.

It's crazy how your brain, mind can tell you, even beg you to leave a situation that is not 'fair', but your heart, no matter how miserable, will want to stay. My heart is broken but I still love him with all the pieces.

I've decided that I will give my contentness everyday if it means I can still be with him.
 
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I never asked for anything...   
11:40am 05/02/2007
 
mood: lonely
I never asked you for anything. You asked for a kiss, I gave it to you. You asked for me to stay the night, I did. You asked me to ride for you, and I rode. You asked me to love you, and I did. You asked to handle my buisness, and, of course, I did.

I never asked for anything. I decided a long time ago that I would never put another question mark at the end of one of my sentences. I felt that if I really needed something, I would get it without asking.

But then, I fell in love with you...

I was telling you I loved you long before I really did. It felt good having somebody care for me how you did. I didn't feel so alone anymore. I felt as if you were a part of me. You know that sappy saying... I wasn't whole until I met you, and now I don't want to be just a half again.

I rode for you, I was your 'rhyder'. Even when I didn't completely agree with the cause, I still fought for it. I left old friends if they didn't measure up to your standards (not exactly something I regret). I made new friends if they did.

We decided together, that we were meant for eachother. And I still believe it. I do believe that if we work hard enough, we can overcome every problem we face.

But I'm still upset.

I don't want to be around you if all we do is fight. I look back on the last few months and I hate us. I hate us for looking so weak when I know that we're the strongest relationship I know. I hate us for letting the little stuff get to us. I hate arguing with you, unless there's really a valid point to debate. But it seems there never is.

If you were anybody else, I wouldn't come back to you. You know its enevitable. Though I don't want to be with you right now, its not like I would think of being with anybody else. Just give the space I ask for, and baby, we'll be alright.
 
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